Listening and being a good friend

I have a friend, a dear friend, and we've been friends for well over twenty years. She has been coming over almost weekly for almost that long, and in the early days, me being determined to be the perfect host would always pop the kettle on to give her a cuppa as soon as she came around. This went on for a while, and one night I noticed her pouring her cold cup of tea in the sink. I said I was sorry, that I didn't realise we were talking so much that she didn't get to drink her tea, and that I'd make her another one - all while I was putting the kettle on and getting things ready. She said "no - it's OK", but I went ahead anyway, because I wanted her to feel welcomed. As I picked up the milk to add it to her cup, she put her hand over it and said "I don't take milk." I looked at her and said "What? I always give you milk." She then said she was allergic to milk and it made her ill.

So, in my haste to give her what I thought she wanted, I was giving her what she didn't need. That it was the opposite of what she needed. She had told me, several times, but I didn't hear or listen. So I did what I always did when I had to remember something important - I put a large note on the fridge which read "Don't give 'Rosie' milk - it makes her sick."

Now anyone who has known me for a while, knows that I have a terrible memory, and putting notes on the fridge was a great way for me to remember important things - like #2 son had to do the dishes for a couple of weeks for whingeing, and #1 son had to do them because he was giving #2 son grief in the first place, and #3 son (toddler) had to stop kicking #2 son when he was lying on the floor.

If I didn't put the note there, I would forget and go back to doing the same stuff over and over again, and nobody won. If one of those notes were on the fridge - no-one was allowed to take it off. If the kids tried, they would be in worse trouble - and the Man of the House knew I was dinkum, and he’d better not mess with it either. It was law.

See the parallels? If we don't enshrine the Voice and listen, we'll keep doing what we've always done, because it's easy to forget what works, and a new government will just overturn it easily anyhow.

So if you want all those horror stories about how bad things are on the lands to continue - keep voting no - and you'll get what you want, but First Nations peoples will never get what they need.

The story about the milk is true - and friends will know who I'm talking about. She's a great friend and I've never seen her get angry.